The Fighting Foursome

Every liberal wimp with a hemp bracelet is all worked up about Dad's brave comments the other day in Iowa. Of course the media didn't really provide any context (like how the question didn't even come from a Republican!), so let me tell you what it's really all about here on the front lines, and maybe my brothers will jump in and add some detail.

We are in a war right now, a war that we can either win by electing Dad or lose by electing someone with less Daditude(TM). My brothers and I are on the leading edge of this war as we secure the perimeter of 99 Iowa counties in our Patriotic Personnel Carrier.

I drive the MittMobile, so they usually call me the General. Sometimes CRom will call me Commander Underpants or something dumb like that, but that's just his "out there" sense of humor. Gotta keep the laughs up under fire, otherwise the tension can really mess with your head.

We even use some of the same slang. The IED - that's Iowan Electing Dad to us - can be found roadside, but sometimes one will sneak up on you from behind, and you aren't ready with a lawn sign! That can be pretty stressful. Anyway, I'd like to see Hippie McNoBra come try doing this for a day, then she'd know what war is really about.